What had begun as an Internet prank gone viral had unexpectedly turned into a debate on metaphysics between a naked girl and a talking plateful of spaghetti. "Something to do with symmetry," the spaghetti replied, "Belief and disbelief normally cancel each other out but if there is much more of one than the other they can have the same effect and bring something into being. Nobody believes I exist and therefore I do." Lisa looked at the being open mouthed. It had seemed a simple enough idea: Offer herself up to the Flying Spaghetti Monster as a human sacrifice. That had to be worth a million hits and tons of new subscribers. The audience had built steadily as she talked about her plan and then exploded after friends on Facebook started a rumor that she would offer herself naked on her 18th birthday. The attention from the fans was gratifying and the idea of being naked in front of all those men (and some women) jacking off was somehow quite exciting. Her body was fit and firm and it. Thank you for coming for us. For me.” Kayla sobbed as she wrapped her arms around me.I put my arms around her and held her for a moment as she buried her head into my chest.I’d never really had a girlfriend, so I really didn’t know what to do. I just held her until her breathing became more normal.“Try not to drink all the blood while I’m gone.” I said for lack of anything smarter.Kayla leaned her head back and then slapped my chest.“Jerk!” She laughed through her tears.“Yeah well. Sorry.” I grinned as I released her.“You’re coming back, right?” Kayla asked, looking up at me.“I am. I got to get the others.”“Promise me you’re coming back?” Kayla asked me, her chin quivering.“I promise. If not, I’m logged into my Amazon account. Try not to go too crazy.” I grinned as I pulled away from her.“You’re such a jerk!” Kayla laughed.“Get some rest. Get something to eat. All of you!” I called out as I started to walk toward my car.“Yes DAD!” Kayla’s laughing grew louder.I drove towards Steve’s.
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